~ The Silent One ~

~The June Holidays~

2005-07-16T22:04:00.000+08:00

Hmm~ i wanted to look for tutoring job. I registered wif a few tutoring agency, but unfortunately, I was unable to find a single suitable student to teach. Sigh~ The June holidays is coming to an end...

I watch 2 movies this holiday, one with I regret watching. I dare say it is the worst movie for the year~"War of the Worlds". I spend 1 1/2 hours watching Tom Cruise running here and there wif a small ger in a dark gloomy world. Haha~ I dun have much liking for Tom Cruise, and neither have my frens. We sat there in the movie theatre so bored. My frens were cursing the show, saying that it was a waste of our money. The secound show I watch was the Fantastic 4. Like all marvel comic heros that the make into a movie, they never follow the actually story. They changed the part whereby how Dr Doom got his powers. The story was quite nice in fact, just like the cartoon. =)

I got the post of AMIO for my CCA project. Wah, now got more responsibility liaoz~ I hope that this time we can make the bond of the members more tight~ Must try to make our next yr much better than the previous one...

~Sinagpore Expo Car Show 2005~

2005-06-30T22:21:00.000+08:00

I went to the car show today at the Singapore Expo. My 1st thought that the place there will be as crowded as it was last yr. But when i reached there, there are not as many pple there as I thought there will be. The cars this year are not as fasinating as last year where I get to see my dream care with cost 2.5 milliom, Pagani Zonda and other exotic cars like Lamboginni. There were a whole row of Ferrari, wrx and evos. This year is a bit disappointing. Even the race queens are not the same standard as last year. I was quite surprise that the race queens from Singapore are prettier than those from Japan!!! I thought Japan girls are prettier than Sinagpore girls. I was proven wrong today. Out of the many Race Queens, the 2 outstanding ones are from Sinagpore. Haha~ I went to watch the War of the Worlds!!! I quote from my fren, " I can't believe I gave up seeing the Race Queens and went watch Tom Cruise". The show sucks big time....it makes no sense and the story is lousy. They research on human beings ever since we are born on this planent and they din know that they can be killed by the bacteria on earth. I think Steven Spielberg has ran out of ideas liao....perhaps he should hire pple to give him more innovative stories.

~Pri 5 10 year anniversary~

2005-06-25T23:37:00.000+08:00

Today we had a pri 5 class gathering back at our form teacher's house. Mr Tan Tek Tin still look the same as 10 yrs b4. haha~ His hair is still go black and full. I think no one will know his exact age when he see frm far. I remember that I been to his before and it was still roughly the same as the last time I came. Quite embarass to say, I have forgotten that he had a son. Haha~ He son is a genius. He is a PSC scholar currently in life sciences. I had not seen a nuber of my frens since we left our pri school~ many of them have changed so much. The gals have become prettier, than guys have become more handsome, except me i guess. LoL. Mr Tan's dog was as noisy as ever. Most of us in our class turned out rather well. All of them are in University, some are about to graduate, 2 married, and 1 of them about to give birth. Come to think of it, I am no longer young anymore. Sigh~ Time have really pass. I have not acomplish much in life...

~I can't thing of a Title~

2005-06-20T22:38:00.000+08:00

Niece is back.

I went to the Tampines Home last sat. The people there are intellectually deformed. I see them so poor thing, but the wierd thing is that they seems to be living so happily there. We play games with them and some of them even danced when they heard the techno music for the game "Musical Chairs". I guess this is a very good case of ignorance is bliss. They may not know many things out in this world, but they are happy living in the small centre of theirs. The footage that we took were on of the better ones that i came around after going to so many homes. I wish that they would be as happy in the future as they are now.

~H0lidayaz~

2005-06-15T20:54:00.000+08:00

French exam over laoz~ now than can finally say that the holiday has started. I have taken up a project in WSC called the Ignite. Volunteers actually do work for elders, and my job is to catch them on camera. =) i love this job. hahaha~! I love catching pple on camera or view cam.
Life seems a bit dull during the holidays. I can't seem to find much work to do...no special place I can go oso. I think I should go back and continuemy driving...sigh~ my final theory overdue liao. Now must take again...sianz...niece, when u coming back...miss u so. Recent achievements, I thought my mum how to play insanaquarium.Hahaha...Lucky I have my own laptop so that I can let her us the desktop in my rm. Trying to look for pple to give tuition to, but dun seems to be finding and lobang...

~Materialistic Women~

2005-05-30T19:41:00.000+08:00

I was watching this taiwan variety show last saturday and there was apart whereby the guy wanted to test the faithfulness of his girlfren, hence, they got a handsome guy to act as a rich guy who drove a porshe and try to go after the girl. The guy was initially rich and and a crisis left me broke. Soon after he realised that his girlfriend was treating him very coldly and ignoring him. So, he took part in the show and tried testing his girlfren. I personally think that this is wrong, cos relationships are base on trust. But I guess in this case, his actions was justified by the results. The actor acted rich only got to know the guy's girlfren for 2 days, and after a diamond necklace and a dinner, she followed the actor back to his home....this really "boosted" my confidence in the women in today's society. The girl even quarrel with the guy on the national television and said "So what if I am materialistic. I like money!!" Sigh~ I feel so bad for the guy.....They had been together for almost a year and I guess thing only thing that the girl was attracted to him was his money.....

~Something Terrible has happened~

2005-05-25T09:07:00.000+08:00

Haiz~ something terrible has happened!! My niece and her fren left their hamsters with me and asked me to help them take care of it~ but when I came back last week, I found 2 of them dead!! They were lying there not moving. I don't understand why they died. They have plenty of food and water, but why did they die? Haiz~ now I dunno how to tell niece. Worse, I am afraid that her fren would blame her for letting me take care of them...I cant imagine what would happen when I see my niece again when she comes back home from China....

Now, I am so afraid that the same thing would happen to the remaining one. I worry so much that now every so often, I would take a look at it. When it didn't move, I would check that it is in fact sleeping and not dead. Haiz~....Dunno how to face my niece....

~Recent News~

2005-05-18T20:17:00.000+08:00

It's been so long since I have updated my blog~haha~ starting to get lazy liao; must say lazy cos now exam over, so cannot use being busy for studies as an excuse..lol. Well, it's not totally true that exams is over. I took a General Electives during this 1st month of my holiday, which is French. Actually wanna take Jap one, but I think I most likely won't be able to get it, so I chose French instead. It is an amazing hard language to learn. Not in its writing, but in its speech. I think that you can fake any accent in this world, except for french. Hahah~they way you have to twist and curl you tongue, it makes it impossible for a non-french to get the precise pronounciation.

I think that I most probably wont be able to get to stay in the hall liao~ after staying in hall for so long, I am used to to the kind of internet connection they have here. If I were to use back the 56k modem speed, I think I will die of old age in waiting for the things I wanna do in the net. Speaking to my parents to ask them subscribe for the interent broadband was a mistake. It only give me on more reason to quarrell with my dad. Mother offered to pay for the interent bills and everything, but I refuse. Mother seems to wanna give me everything, daddy seems to be ignoring me with everything I need, especially my financial aspect. I finally made up my minde to take a part time job liao~ most probably will be tuition, cos I can continue even after the holiday is over and when the sch reopens.

My exams for french will be in at the start of june,which is a few weeks from now, but now I am quite attracted to this new online game which my fren introduce to me. Haha~ Hope that I won't get too hook to it~

Niece havs been back home for quite some time liao~ I miss her so much....

I have always believe that in life, if you work hard for the things you want, you will have what you want. However, I came to realise that it is not true. There are times when no matter how much effort you put in, somethings will just not happen the way you want it to. That is the fact of life~ sigh~ cruel hard fact of life...

~The End of Something, The Begining Of Another~

2005-05-06T00:41:00.000+08:00

Finally I have finished all my exams. The last 2 papers, esp my PE was a killer. Effective comm was still not so bad. Haha~ just have to use my english and throw smoke bombs. Anyway, my last paper was on wed and now fri I have to start on my GE for this Special Sem. I'll be learning French. I thought of taking Jap, but that too popular liao~ I need to clear my GE, so have to take some subj not so pop one. I heard from many frens that French is damn hard. Tmr will be the 1st lesson, and I will go see wat is in stall for me.
Exams over le, but nothing special seems to be happening, unless playing computer games from morning till night is something special. My niece left her hamster and her fren's hamster in my possession and went back to China. So, I have a chance to play wif those cute mouse. My niece's mouses are esp naughty. Either that or she has been starving them. They always seems to bite my when I play wif thenm. I have never come across such cases when I reared them in the past. Hmm...must figure out why....

~My Birthday~

2005-05-02T22:30:00.000+08:00

Today's my birthday...at least it still is for another one hour plus. The first half of my day is quite dull and boring. I was suppose to study for my last 2 papers for tmr and wed, but I think no one has the mood now~ I ended up playing this new online game which my army fren Shiwei introduced me~ haha~quit fun actually. It's a role playing game about the 3 Kingdoms. I played a while and than went back to study...imagine someone having to study on his birthday~ so pathetic. I guess I could actually ask my frens out to celebrate wif them, but I feel that asking someone to help u celebrate ur birthday is such a pathetic thing to do~ lol....some close frens are having exams too, so I din wanna bother them~ niece had to celebrate her rommie's bday. My whole family except my mother is not in Singapore~ mum wanted me to come home and celebrate, but I was too lazy to go all the way back to yishun for a dinner and come back to NTU again~ She offered to come all the way to Boon Lay, but I wanted to waste time and effort to come out all this way just for a dinner. So in the end, I was alone in my room. This was how bday went, at least until evening.
Cheryl came all the way to NTU to find me!! Quite touched...she even bought me a Hawaian Pizze and a Mango Moose cake. The funny thing is, she got a candle for the candle, but she did not have a lighter to light the candle~ so she wanted me to PRETEND that it is lit and me to blow the "lighted" candle...haha~But she had to leave after awhile cos she had to teach tuition later. Where can u find a better fren than her?
Later, niece bought me a Chocolate Fudge cake. I guess niece still dunno me well enough....cos...I cant eat Chocolate. Well, its not that I cant eat chocolate, but if I were to eat it, there will be devastating effects on me and you can see the aftermath on my face. Chocolate is too heaty for me. In fact, those tibits like potato chips and such are also very heaty for me...sigh~ so many delicacies which I cannot eat. How much sadder can life be?
The stroke of midnight will mark the ending of my birthday. Like the past 2 bday, I have not celebrated it. This yr was no exception either. I guess this will probably be it for the next 3 yrs, cos my bday is always near the examination period and there will nv be time to celebrate it~ haha.....

~Niece Is Sick...~

2005-04-30T17:58:00.000+08:00

I was woke up by the ringing of my hp today~ 9 plus bah~ It was that cute niece of my, now she become poor niece liao~ Not cos she got no money....(well, frm the way she go shopping at orchard almost everyday with Alvin, I think she will soon)...but cos she fell sick~ Yesterday ate something wrong at Far East. I immediately got up and took her to see doc. She look so pale~ every few steps she walk, she could not take it and feel like vomitting~ Never see her so sick b4. Want to carry her there, but she dun wan. Take bus there, she dun wan. Haiz~ no choice but to slowly walk there. See her like that I also quite worry. The way she walk like going to collapse any moment like that. Finally reach the Medical centre. Luckily they do not need her matrix card cos she did not bring it. When waiting, she lay on the sofa like as if it was her house~ hehe...very unsightly u know niece? Anyway, there wasn't much pple, so it was out turn very soon. I accompanied her in and listen to her tell the doc all the things that a sick person would probably encounter. Headache, vomit, fever, diarrohe...etc etc...wah~ After that, I got a cab and took her back~ 1st time sit mercedes cab and is to sent a patient home. lol~ anyway, take meds liao now better. Hope she get well soon~

~Nightmares~

2005-04-28T16:30:00.000+08:00

I had a nightmare just now while taking a short nap~
I was a fugitive. I was being chase by many pple and I keep running and running non-stop. It seems like the ones who are after me are aliens. They seek came to earth and possess people. I think I was the only one who was not being possessed~ everywhere I go, all my frens whom I approach for help are already being possessed by the aliens~ I was desperate.

Surprisingly, I seems to have one special ability. If I was to concentrate my mind hard enough, I make become invisible. So in the whole dream, I was trying to escape from these aliens and the second half of my dream, I was concentrating so hard so that they will not be able to see and find me. My intention for taking the short nap was so rest, however, things turned out the other way round...I was more tired than I was before I took the nap~ haha...I sometimes stare in wonder at how ironic life can be~

~Post Exams~

2005-04-28T15:48:00.000+08:00

Finally got a chance for a breather. I went back home for for 2 days to accompany my mother who was alone at home while the rest of my family were overseas. She was doing fine~ still the same old caring woman. She cooked so much nice food for me everytime I go back home, but I must specifically ask her not to cook so much cos normally she would cook an amount of food enough for 5 people to eat when there is only 2 of us, just becos I came back home. Hahaha~

Now the only 2 papers which are not left tested are my effective communication and my PE - Social Problems in the Glob Context. I don't think I will have a problem with the effective comm, but my PE proves to be sligthly challanging~ I better read up on it~

After almost a yr in NTU and many things have happened. I knew many things about myself and set my mind straight, wanting to change them when I come into the university and start fresh~ but like what my room mate says, it is hard to change oneself~ just like he told me that he is trying to change his bad habits, I often see him relapse back into the old self again~ I see that same pattern in myself. I thought that somethings have changed, but apparently, I was only cheating on myself. How I was behaving wasn't me. What I was trying to do wasn't me. Things like that can be so depressing that one can give up all hope on it.

Recently a few things hab happened which made me so disappointed and sad, and abit angry. Sometimes I feel that in whatever things that I do, or in whatever relationship I am in, things always seems to go in one direction. And sometimes, when these disappointment are do to the one that you care about and things that he or she is special to you, it makes things worse. Very much worse.Or perhaps everything that once was was my imagination. I can be so creative in these things, and I dun find such creativity in these areas beneficial at all. Perhaps staying in hall was a wrong choice after all....

~Yum Yum~

2005-04-23T23:54:00.000+08:00

Niece made me some corn she bought while she was out today~taste quite good. I wonder if the food naturally taste this good or was it cos she prepared it. Hahaha!! Anyway, wanna thanks her so much for it. =)

~Near the End~

2005-04-23T19:59:00.000+08:00

Finally, I am left with the last major paper, which is physics. Althought I still have my PE and Effective Comm paper to take, but they are nothing as compared to the other 4 core subjects: Computing, physics, maths, chemistry. Chemistry is a goner. I just hope that my CA test are good enough to help to pull through to get a minimum pass in my paper. Computing was relatively easy. Maths was normal. I made a few careless mistakes here and there. Wont get too well for the paper either. Already, the lecture grp A has already finished their major papers and are out there celebrating, while students like us frm the group are still hugging onto thier physics notes and hope to do well for it. My niece is one of those other there. Today, she and her close fren Alvin went to sing KTV the second time already~ haha~ Until now she's still not back yet. I wonder where did they go the whole day. I wonder if she miss this uncle of hers when she is still playing outside. Most probably not i guess. Last night after her paper than she started to suan me thru msn le.~ Hiaz this niece, only good in bully uncle....and also sometimes be there for him when he is feeling down~
Already I am thinking about what to do after my physics paper and now don't have much of a mood to study....(this shouldn't be happening). I have not been home for almost a month. Both my sis and my father is overseas. One in china for holiday and the other in America for work, leaving my poor mum alone at home. Must go back and see her after my exam finish.
Hmmm~ I wonder if niece will buy something back for uncle to eat.....

~One Down~

2005-04-16T23:46:00.000+08:00

One down...Maths II Fe1007. Some of the questions was a killer!!! I wasted my time on studying Multiple Integrals. I gave up 10 marks on that the questions regarding that chapter. Din even know what a octant was. Sigh~ Computing is up next, and after that, chemistry paper is only one day away!! Ahh!!! How can put my most feared paper only one day after the paper? I hope somemore up there save me...

Lousy day...lousy mood....lousy everything....

~Hectic Days Part II~

2005-04-12T23:12:00.000+08:00

Wake up at 730; go out study at 9am; come back at night; bath liao rest a while than sleep. This robotic routine has been my lifestyle for the past few days. The studying during the day has drained me out totally for the night that I have no mood to do anything else. Exams starts in 2 days time. For some, it starts one day earlier. Sigh~ I glance through the MSN, everyone has their status on "busy" or "away". I know some of them are there, but they put "away" status so that pple won't talk to them. Even my cute niece is so busy with her studies. She i having a GE paper one thursday and she complain that she got no time to finish. Jia You niece~!! and anyone else who read this~ Good Luck for ur upcoming exams~ =)

~Hectic Days~

2005-04-09T18:53:00.000+08:00

It has been quite a happening week for me, cos quite a number of things has happened...

Main theme of this week: Physic quiz. Result is.....I conclude that my favourite tutor, with is the lecturer Rusli, is trying to kill us all!!! The quiz was damn tough! Wah kaoz! Even those scholars only barely got 5-6 right out of 7. I think I only got 4 of the questions. Haiz~ Why Rusli cannot da fa chi bei leh?

Secondly event: I help my dear, cute, adorable...(if I go on some more I will vomit...just had dinner) to open a new hp line and she bought a new phone. Cos she is from China, and if she wants to start a new line, she would have to pay an extra $200 dollars and the paper work will be very tedious. So being a kind-hearted guy like me, I help her lor. Can't say no to a damsel in distress. Haha~

Third event: My (whatever description I mentioned above) niece, which normally skip her meals, was good one day. So, she wanted a reward, and I ended up buying a hp chain for her. She wanted one that she like and can fit with her new phone one~ wah kaoz! It was such a tough choice. I practically walk the whole of west mall and visited each shop that sell such stuff several things before deciding what to get her. I did not know what to choose in the 1st place, but I came across one such chain which mean "angel wings" and I thought it was quite compatible with her and her hp. So I bought that~ Hope she likes it.

Finally, there is someone which I care for alot. In fact, I dare to say I am in love with her. But fate has a wierd sense of humour. I watch her broke and got onto a new relationship twice and I unfortunately I was not part of that relationship. How much more devastated can you get? To what extend should one do for the one they love? How much can one sacrifice? I made a promise...and I don't wish to break that promise. That's why yesterday, I tried to fulfill that promise, but things did not end up well. Fairy tales dun come true. Things are never "happily ever after". Or perhaps she was never meant to be mine. Heart hurts so much~ and why must it be now, the most crucial part of the semester....

Electricity and magnitism is kill me with their EM waves. Chemistry is poisoning me. Computing is giving me a virus. ODE no longer seems ordinary....SOMEONE SAVE ME!!

~Silent Days~

2005-04-06T00:14:00.000+08:00

Today, I was amazed by my niece. She still remembered her last semester physics. I would forget mine definitely if someone were to ask me. A real scholar indeed...

Have you ever wonder what would it be like if the one whom you are deeply in love with treats u coldly? Imagine the pain you will be in...I never understood how I got myself into this situation, but I do hope I can quickly get out of it.

2005-04-05T00:07:00.000+08:00

My Niece trying to act cute~ lolx

~The Dreaded Approached~

2005-04-04T23:45:00.000+08:00

Each day as the minute go pass, the time for me to step into exam hall approach nearer. But somehow, dunno why I still dun feel the excitement, the frightning feeling. I used to panic when exams is nearing and use it as a motivation to study. Now I dun feel a thing...and I am not studying as much as I know I should....Sigh~ got bad feeling for this semester exam...esp for my chemistry. Lolx~
I went with my niece yesterday to buy her new phone~ She was so picky in everything~ from the number of the phone, to the colour of the phone, to the phone carrier...Hahaha~ esp the phone carrier. We stood there for so long and walk away and than went back again. The sales lady was like standing there looking at us. Hahaha~ A bit pai seh~ Than finally i selected one which looked like a cow for her. She 1st time using Nokia phone, dun even know how to lock and unlock the keypad~ so funny~ wahaha...Anyway, I guess she was generally happy and satisfied with the phone.

~Niece GOt a New LOok!!~

2005-04-03T00:36:00.000+08:00

I was quietly studying in my room when there was a hard knock on my door. I knew who it was before I open the door~ There outside, stood my niece, with a new look! She cut her hair and gave it a new hairstyle. Her immediate question was "Is it nice?"
My cute, adorable niece~ how much cuter can u look? U already hit the maximum in the "CUTE Gauge" liao. But your new look is quite refreshing. Don't worry~ it's not ugly. Whoever say that it is ask the person come talk to me. I am sure I can change his or her point of view....hehe~ anyway frankly speaking, I would miss the longer hair you~ hahaha.. but in general, you are still cute and adorable. Don't worry ok?

OP finished!!!....niece tortured and bully me...

2005-04-01T20:30:00.000+08:00

I have finally finished my OP~ Hahaha~ I think that our presentation went rather well, although I stumbled on a few words. My tutors commented that I have good voice projection, good tone and examples, but I did not pronounce some words clearly, like most Singaporeans who speak Singlish~ I tend to miss out the 't', 's', 'd' (and a few I forgot) at the end of the words. But basically, other than that, everything was well. She would only return us the score sheet next week though.
One huge burden is released after I have finished my OP, but more are still upon my shoulders. Physic and maths quiz next week and the finals start the week after. There are still many grounds for me to cover. In about a month's time, I would be enjoying myself~ hehehe...looking forward to it. =)
That afternoon, my niece was nice and came and visited me. "Come to see my old uncle" she said, giving me the impression of a visitor coming to see a patient~ haha. Anyway, she had a motive behind it all. Actually she wanted me to help her edit her blog template. =) Such a devious little person. When I say little, I mean literally. Cos she 1.5 plus plus metres in height. Hahaha~ But I guess at least she took the effort to ask me for help presonally than thru msn.... I was having a tremendous headache and had to go home for dinner that night...and my niece insisted me to finish editting her blog immediately~ What can I say when I see that cute face of hers. No choice but to give in~ heee.... I think I better stop here and get myself prepare for her to come kill me~ wahahaa...

~Rwanda Genocide~

2005-03-30T13:54:00.000+08:00

My day started quite depressing today. I skipped my maths lecture today cos I did not do my maths tutorial and going will be pointless when I stare at the ans, not understand a single thing what it means. Anyway, my first lesson was my prescribe elective: "Social Problems in a Global Context". My lecturer showed us a video on the Rwanda killings. The video showed what exactly happened during the Rwanda Genocide and the account was told by the people on the actual ground. It was a gruesome sight. The Tutsi was slaghter for just being Tutsi. The Hutu killed the people with their machette, or what is known in Singapore context, a parang, a really big and long knife. The video shows how the US and the UN abandon the people there and choose not to intervene and let the Hutu extremist kill all those innocent people. It was a mindless slaghter. The US choose not to step in becos of the incident in Somalia where 18 American troops are killed while trying the suppress the rebelians. The famous show "Black Hwak Down" was about this incident. Everyone in the world, exceept the Red Cross abandoned them. More than 800 000 people were killed, irregardless of them being women or children. When I heard how a lucky Tutsi who was still a small school girl survive the incident, it makes my heart ache at how cruel and selfish for the UN and US to choose to withdraw all their forces from the country when they know that these Hutu extremist would go on this slaughter. People killing people for no sensible reasons...its hard to imagine how much some people have degraded to that extend...

~Lost Thoughts~

2005-03-28T14:05:00.000+08:00

Have it ever occured to you when someone who is close to you accuse you or misunderstood you for something that you have not done? I was watching the show "Hitch" where there was a part when Will Smith was misunderstood by the one which he love and was hurt badly. The conversation which he had with the female lead at the chinese speed dating place was quite touching. It's true that there are many times where guys don't stand a chance with the girl they like as they never seem to notice them. And he was right that it usually don't work when a guy would just go up front to the girl they like and just say that he actually like her. I mean, which girl would actually believe you? Haha~
I remember that there was a time when I was backstabbed by a close fren of mine during my secondary school time. This girl who I was deeply in love with misunderstood me and I got a thrashing from her. I think the worst kind of hurt you can get from the person you like is being acuuse of something which you did not do and got the thrashing that I had from that person. Now, that same girl is happily married~ =) Amazing. It was q bit hard for me to swallow when she sent me her invitation to her wedding buffet. Seeing her so happy that day made my heart melt also. She looked ravishing in her wedding gown.
I wonder if there is really someone out there who can teach people who are not so outstanding how to approach the person that we like and successful win her heart~ I think whoever succeed in that business will be damn rich~ considering there are so many lonely hearts out there. Hahaha~

~The Light Of You Life~

2005-03-27T23:49:00.000+08:00

"The Light Of Your Life". I believe there is such for each and everyone of us out there. It's only a matter of time before we find it. For those who are not able to find it before they leave this world, I believe that it's because they have already missed it somewhere along the path of life which they walked. The Light may not necessary be someone we love, but more than often, it usually is. I wonder how many people out there have thought of their purpose of their life. Work in the day, rest at home in the night, and the cycle repeats itself again and again. I wish this is not the kind of life which I am heading. Although I do not wish for such a monotonous lifestyle, I sometimes dream of living a peaceful and slow pace kinda life. In Singapore, the competition is too great and things accure close to the speed of light~ I wonder what awaits me at the end of my 4 years of study in NTU.
I told my boss in WSC - MI that I am interested in the senior camp trip to Taiwan. It'll be in July. I hope that by than, the matters of my heart will be settled and I can enjoy the trip fully.

2005-03-27T00:42:00.000+08:00

~My Niece~

~Beautiful Moon~

2005-03-27T00:26:00.000+08:00

Wah...tonight the moon is even more beautiful than last night =) With such a beautiful night, imagine how wonderful if there is someone you love by ur side to watch that beautiful sight together. Imagine you are in a quiet place. The night lights shine in the far distance. The orange light illuminating the dark night sky. The white round moon hang above you, pouring its white light onto you. Haha~ I think such a scene u can only find in the movie, but I have always dream of doing it with my dream gal~ hehe....but I guess dreams are just dreams bah.
Just now got a very bad headache~ so bad that I cannot tahan and must go eat panadol. Dunno why I often have these sort of headaches also. Funny that niece also have headache. But after a display of my all wonderful head massaging skills, she immediately feel better. hahaha~ maybe if I can't find a job as an engineer in the future, I can open a shop and help people massage.

~Long Walk In the Night~

2005-03-26T00:50:00.000+08:00

It has been such a long time since I had a long walk like that one I had tonight. My niece stuff herself in her own room the whole day studying (plus playing cute games...although she played more than she study) and did not eat anything the whole day~ She said she wanna loose weight. Why is every girl that I know of want to loose weight? There is not ONE girl that I know of who doesn't want to loose weight, irregardless of whether they are actually really plump of in fact already quite slim. For my niece, I find that she is in the right proportion. I think that people who are too skinny don't look pretty. My niece, on the other hand, looks quite pretty wit her current figure~ Dun understand why she keep insisiting of wanting to loose weight. Lolz~ Girls!
Anyway, we went out together for dinner at the coffee shop beside City Harvest. As we walked, we talked alot. She even told me that she went into City Harvest once to listen to a preach. She said that she will try to convert me after she has become a Christian herself. I told her that it is impossible for me to become a Christian, and she said nothing is impossible. Than I told her to fly. She offered to try tying herself to many balloons and float. Hahahaha~ Silly ger.
When the food that she ordered came, she grumbled that there is not enough for her to eat. But in the end, she cannot finish the food~ hahaha~ always like that. So after dinner, she suggusted that we walk around NTU, and I said okay. When she reached NIE, she said she was tired liao~ and gimme the tired kind of look. Than I give her my "it's your own fault" look. Haha~ While walking, she told me about her stories regarding relationships back in China. Wah~ I wouldn't have believe it if I did not hear it from my own ears. My niece have such attraction that she almost caused 2 guys to have a group fight. And it's not just a normal arm westle and punching fight~ they were actually armed with knives!! From her account, I realised that the guys who fell in love with her are all so "ci qing". I find that few guys in Singapore are that faithful to a girl they like. Hope that my dear niece will be able to find a guy that he likes and for once feel that she actually loves him, cos she until now dunno what is love. Hahaha~ poor thing.
Anyway, we went up all the way to the president's lodge. Tonight was my 1st time there. Hmmm~ quite romantic up there. Everything is so quiet. But too bad we cant see any stars tonight, but the moon is very round and white. It was a beautiful.
I saw her hamster. It was smaller than I have imagined. =) They are barely a few months old I think. But they are so cute~ haha. I will be taking care of them when my niece go back to China. Than I will play with them.
zZzZzZZzz...so late le....must go sleep....

~Troubled Frens~

2005-03-24T23:51:00.000+08:00

I have been sitting down in front of my computer for 3 hours trying to do my oral presentation. Tomorrow is good friday and yet I cannot affordto have one day of rest. Finals is in 3 weeks time. After that, I will be a free man~ =) ....for about 3 months bah! Hahaha~ looking forward to my holidays.
Today my good fren talk to me about his problems with his gf~ I didn't know that he had so much troubles. If he did not tell me, I would not have known this vulnerable side of him. =) I told me about his problems with his gf~ I can't give much of an advice cos I think I am in no position to do so lor, if not I will not be single now liao~ lolx. Anyway, its quite touching to see how much these two people love each other and I think if they managed to endure through this time of trail and tribulations, they will love each other even more. I think I can foresee myself attending their wedding 10yrs down the road. Hehehe~

~The Lousy Me~

2005-03-22T22:36:00.000+08:00

I had a long talk with my niece, and I finally realise that I gave a very bad impression to my hall mates...I know that I cannot make everyone like me, but for people to dislike me....I never knew. Now I know that my inter-personal skills are so lousy.
I have so many things to settle tonight. I only wish everything will end the best way that it can.

I know that there aren't many nice things in my blog, but I must ask those who read it not to judge me from what I write, because many a times, not all the details are written in here. When I found out what people think of me that is not the truth, it is so hurtful.

I am who I am. It probably won't change.

~I have done another bad deed~

2005-03-22T10:11:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I have done another bad deed. I managed to get French for my General Elective for this special semester. Becos of that, I have to break a promise made to someone. I promise the person in charge of Earthlink that I would be their photo and videopgrapher for their trip to Sabah, Mount Kinabalu. However, if I were to go, I would miss many of my French classes....haiz~ So bo bian and told the person that I can't go....feel so guilty...
Anyway, my niece bought a cushion for me last saturday when we went walk walk in Jurong Point. So yesterday, I bought a similar cushion for her also. Hee~ it's a pink chick. Looks quite cute, like me~ lol! Than my niece complain that I did not say who my niece was in the blog. so I must make it like and official announcement.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcment to make. From **** (a day which I dunno) onwards, I will be the uncle of Duan Tiandi, which will make her my niece. She promised that she will take care of me cos I am old and I will treat her good good cos she is my dear niece."
(Hope she is happy liao~ hahaha)

~Struggles~

2005-03-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

I thought that this feeling inside me struggling is already gone. But just when I thought that it no longer stays in my heart, it can back. Just when I thought I could let go everything, I hesitated again. I thought there would be hope for me. I am afraid that this feeling inside me will affect me the way it affected me last semester. I am not good for her. I should back out of this as much as possible~ It will be so hard...

~Weekend Again~

2005-03-19T22:11:00.000+08:00

Weekend has arrived once again. Another 4-5 times of weekends and my finals for this semester will start. Haiz~ Can't wait for the exams to finish..but once that happen, many wonderful things will end....
This afternoon I had lunch with a fren from my hall~ we went to eat at the Crystal Jade at Jurong Point. It's been a long time since I had a meal with her, so we chatted quite alot. She kept saying that her tutor of different subjects have praised her of her good work~ wah..she's at her normal thick-skin usual self. Hee....but frankly speaking, she is quite good in her studies irregardless of what subject. Envy her sometimes.
Anyway after lunch, we took a walk around Jurong Point. As we were in a shop, she suddenly ask me to pick a few clothes for her, testing to see how good is my taste and she would be my model. Hahaa~ quite pai seh at 1st. The clothes I chose for her seems not bad, and she commented that my taste was not bad. hehhee~ 1st time helping a ger choose clothing...
Nect week will be my next chemistry test. So sianz....Got to brush up on my chem again~ Gam Bah Teh~!!!

~Grumble Grumble grumble~

2005-03-15T20:59:00.000+08:00

I was wondering if, would I be too much if I don't allow pple to take my things without my permission? I feel that even if its my good friends, I cannot stand pple taking my things without my permission~ haiz~ I am so siao qi! Hahaha... Guess I must work on that.
Anyway, I also just realised that the person called Ruth, which was the one I was contacting to hlep them be their photographer, was a girl!! I thought all along that she was a guy. So embarassing~ I went down to their booth at Canteen A today. Their booth seems a little plain...must give them some ideas to improve, since if I were to join them, I would become their publication officer. Lolx~ However, I didn't seem to do anything for them until now~ -_-"
Tomorrow will be my maths test...hope that it will be easy enough for me to do. Formal report is due thursday and I have yet to finish it. Oral presentation is 2 weeks from now and I have not done a single thing....my tutorials are behind schedule and I know nuts about organic chemistry. Final sem exam is 1 month from now....wah~ with so many things waiting for me, how I wish that I wasn't born...

~The long long one whole week~

2005-03-13T18:11:00.000+08:00

It has been a long one week....very tiring...very busy.
Yesterday is the ending of my Project Inspirar, 3 weeks visitation to a children's home. Volunteers went to play and interact with the children. I went to SEE the volunteers interact with the children. Well....not exactly see them, but me and my friends are suppose to videotape them and than make a presentation consisting of the videos which I took of them and animations which we are suppose to make. The last minute work for that presentation took place the entire friday night,which means that we did not sleep at all. We work through the night and than in the morning, we had to go to the children's home again. Sooo tired. When I returned back to my hall in the evening,I fall straight into my lousy bed and sleep until 8am today. Which means I did not even eat my dinner last night~ Too tired. My eyes were painful and my head was throbbing. My boss offered us to pay for our taxi fare for those who are coming back to the school, but we decline. Hari is such a nice guy. =)
Besides finally finishing this inspirar project, I am glad that my chemistry quiz was finally over. I think the paper was rather easy and I know that I will at least pass this quiz. It's funny as it seemed that when I know more about that subject, I get lousier results than those that I know less of. I can pass my chem, and yet I fail my physic. Heaven has a sickening sort of humour. Anyway, I can start worrying about my next chem test cos I once again know next to nothing about organic chem. Must go close my door and do research again.
Next week I would have my maths test AGAIN~ on taylor, multiple integrals and ODE. My tut went through the tutorial on both multiple integral and ODE on the same day, which unfortunately, I did not attend for the 1st time. Such luck...anyway, guess I better start on those tutorials. =(
Has it ever happen to you that when you know that there can be no good ending with another girl, yet you wait for her? I can't ask the girls this cos I think girls are more steadfast in their relationship. So hard to find such guys...well, at least I know of one, which is the class rep of my last semester. He treats his girlfren so well. For my case...I don't know what to do. I makes me happy to see her around, and it makes me sad to know nothing can come out of us. I recently read about a article which a fren of mine send me through the email. It says that relationship need to depend not only on love but also on the timing as well. I agree so much to that....I guess I can understand when pple say they wish that they could turn back the time...
I notice this phenomenon - People tend to take things for granted when the things are there and start to miss them when they are not around. I wish if only that would not happen to me....

~ Am I really wrong and that narrow minded? ~

2005-03-06T12:45:00.000+08:00

Waas I really narrow minded to be angry wif my room mate for not helping me? Was I being too narrow minded in being not accepting such pranks? My fren said that I am a whinner in my blog~ so sad... Haiz~ will try to change bah~ my room mate said he had a lot of faults too and is trying to change. I guess I have many faults too and need to change. I have tried changing before but not much of a result.

~ANGER~ANGRY~FURY~

2005-03-05T01:16:00.000+08:00

Last night I went out to study with my friends from school~ After that when I came back from my studies, I saw my shoes was stuffed with packets of Chilli sause and Ketchup!!! I saw many boxes of Canadian Pizzas from the adjacent block and I knew that someone, a group of people from my block, ordered the pizzas and stuff the packets into my shoe~ Not wanting me to know that it was from my bolck, they purposely dispose the pizza boxes at the block next to mine. I was so mad!! Why do they want to do such a thing to me? I have tolerated when they would keep hanging my shoe onto my door knob~Why must they further play this kind of prank on me~ Makes me look like an idiot for passer-by to see someone's shoe is being stuff with chilli sause packets. I don't know why people from my block would do this kind of things to me. I don't think I have offended them because I almost never hang out with them or spoke to them. Do they think that I can so good to be bullied? If I know who did this, the person is really going to get it from me~ I swear....
The thing that made me worst was that my room mate saw my shoes being stuff with the chilli packets and yet he thought it was okay and ignore it. He said that I wouldn't mind being play by the prank~ so he didn't bother to take out the packets~ What a fucker!! Some friend...When he said that, he made me so mad that I don't know what to say....Who the hell would liked to be played prank on? I don't know how much longer can I tolerate such a person for a room mate....

~Chemistry TEst POsTPonE!!~

2005-03-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

Wahahaha!! Chem quiz have been postpone to next week. Yeah!!! MOre time to study. Heehee~ Now I finally have time to catch up with my other tutorials. I am behind by one tutorial for most subjects. This saturday I will be going to the Chen Su Lan Home to play video the volunteers playing with the children and that will take up the bulk of my saturday. Sigh~ That means I only have sunday to do my work and perhaps finally to take a breather. Today is the 2nd of March~ In one month's time, the finally exams will be starting~ time really passes so fast when you have so much to do. Haha~ After that, we will be having a 3 month break!!! Hope that I can get the GE for this sem break. But if I gotten the GE, than I can't go for the trip to Sabah~ Sigh!! In a confused state.
Now priority is to catch up with my tutorials and do well for my chem quiz next week....and maybe level up my character faster in Lineage 2~ Heehee...

~The waiting is no longer~

2005-03-01T23:13:00.000+08:00

Haiz~ tomorrow will be the math quiz~ study so much just now and cleared so much doubts and found out of many new things that I didn't know of before which I was SUPPOSE to...somehow university gives me the feeling that we might as well come out with the theories and thesis ourselves because the lecturers are not helping much~ I feel that Iam coming to the point such that hardwork alone is not enough~ I just don't have the talents for study. Haha~ let fate decide tomorrow bah~ After that tomorrow will the the chemistry tutorial on thurs...it feels like I am awaiting a death sentence...feels horrible. Worse thing about tomorrow is that I have to once again attend my PE. My PE lecturer SUCKS BIG TIME!! If you ask me why so,I could write a whole list, but I just don't have the time now. Lol~ Anyway, back to my studies...and I will see tomorrow what fate will have in store for me. -_-

~Nice Day~

2005-03-01T01:19:00.000+08:00

Yesh~!! I have finally found someone to enlighten me on my chemistry. It seems than there might be some hope after all. Haha~ At least now I can understand what the questions in the tutorial are asking for now and how to start attempting the questions. Credit must go to the Stupid Ger~ Finally got time to teach me. Still say want to change her name to "Paige", than I told her than it is the name of a pig in a game that I once played~ LOL!! Dunno why she like to change her name so much~
Lui is right about us not being in the army anymore. We no longer have to go for outfields and not being able to bath and change our underwear for several days~ Hahaaa...But nothing exciting has happened in my life since I came out from the army. The main things that I keep doing is study and study. There don't seems to be any other goal for now~ but at least I hope that I can find a decent girlfren in school~ Don't wish Cheryl to force me into Dating Agency with her~ wahahaa....
I had many thoughts today. I was so angry with the girl about last night~ I was suppose to study with her tonight but I was so angry last night when I keep thinking about it that I told her that I won't be studying with her. She only replied the next morning and ask why won't I be studying with her~ I took me a long time to decide whether to send her a msg and scold her upside down or just anyhow give an excuse. I decided to give her the thrashing I intended last night~ I was thinking of what to send her....what to say to let her know how angry I am, when she suddenly called me. I guess I took a long time to ans her msg and she called and asked directly. When I heard her voice, I guess I couldn't bare scolding her. I was quite surprised that she would call me.
Today I did alot of thinking~ Could I be the one that is petty and be angry with her? But this is not the first time that happened. I related the incident to a friend of mine, but he was not much a help either~ Sigh~ Problem not yet solved. I guess this is just her character. I can't do anything to it.

Greatest Credit for tonight = Stupid Ger for teaching me Chemistry

~Fury~

2005-02-28T07:44:00.000+08:00

I could not sleep last night~ I was so angry....why am I always waiting? I am sick and tired of waiting. Why must always be the one who waits!! I waited for so long and so many times. Yet, she fly my aeroplane and treat it as if like it was nothing! No calls, no msg no nothing! Than she suddenly appear as if nothing has happened! Why must she do this to me? Or does she do it to everyone else? I felt like calling her up and give her a good thrashing..but I have never scolded any girls before...argh!!! Now I am having a headache...think so much...last night really can't sleep. Toss and turn here and there. Sigh~ I am a failure with people...

Weekend For My Recess Week

2005-02-26T23:07:00.000+08:00

Sigh~ Recess week coming to an end. The battle I have fought with Chemistry seems to be losing...more equations, theories and all sorts of wierd stuff bombarded me. Sometimes the theories came at me a few at a time. I can barely handle them.....I don't see any hope in passing this subject....
Finally got down to our TV review...I guess I have to pick out sometime tomorrow to finish it up. Can't let Hua min's effort go to waste. He as done so much for the group that I feel so paiseh~ haha~ must treat him to a meal next time. So much things to do...and yet so little time. Thought of watching Seoul Raiders, but dunno who to watch with and no time also. I have missed out so much movies due to these 2 stupid reasons..."Let a life" I tell myself, but often I rather confine myself to the small room in my hostel either study, play computer games, or sleep. Life didn't seems to change much from the time when I was in army. lolx~

Can't Think of What to do~

2005-02-25T22:02:00.000+08:00

I have two quiz coming next week, chemistry on thurday and maths on wednesday. I am stuck in my chemistry and don't know how to continue...tried seeking help but help don't come easily...sigh~ Guess its still best to rely on oneself~ I could only blame myself for not listening to the lecturer more attentively during the lecture...Stuck on chem, so I started on maths....at least I know what I am doing now for maths. Even tutorial 1 seems so hard to me when I first tried the questions. Now the idea comes to me more easily...
I know I should be studying hard for my quiz...but I can't seem to get myself into the mood~ I play too much computer games. I recently downloaded a new MMORPG game, Lineage 2. It's a private server from Singapore itself!! Haha...must support... Haiz~ how can I lighten the mood for the week? Where is the light of my life?

Yuan Xiao Jie ~ Chinese Valentine Day

2005-02-23T17:51:00.000+08:00

Today's Yuan Xiao Jie~ or the so call valentine day for the chinese. It also means that today is the last day of Chinese New Year, so I have to go home for dinner tonight~ Haiz~ So mah fan!! After dinner at home than still have to come back to hostel to study. Sianz...next week got chemistry and maths quiz~ wah!!! how to cope!!! Haiz....Hope that those who are not able to find their valentine on 14th feb, i guess 23 feb means the same thing. Hahaha~ Guess I need to go home for dinner liao~

~Love Quote~

2005-02-22T16:20:00.000+08:00

I finally decided on what to write for the competition. I asked a few frens who are powderful in china to help me think of it. Although they gave me a few ideas, but in the end, I decided to settle for the one that I thought of myself, cos if I were to win this, I want to win it because I came it up by myself and not because I copy ideas from other people. This is what I wrote:

"你是我生命的另一半，我的一切，我的唯一。愿我们的爱情能天长地久。念你，想你，爱你, 直到永远永远."

I could not write more than that because there is a format to follow and only a limited number of words can be used. So with my standard of chinese, this is the best I can come up with. Is the phrase nice?

Valentine Day Competition~

2005-02-22T02:05:00.000+08:00

I saw an advertisement over the weekend about a valentine day competion. It's about writing the best sms to your love one and the winner stand to win the weekend over the grand Fullerton Hotel~ hmm~ I remember Yini once told me about such a competition before last year, but not held by the mediacorp but by Long John's Silver. Winner, which was her bf, won a pair of tickets to the movie Finding Nemo, I think~ This year, although I do not have a gf, but I decided to try out the competition. Maybe I can get lucky and spend a night at Fullerton for the 1st time!! Hahaha~ I wonder who should I ask to bring wif me if I won...

~Weekends~

2005-02-20T12:04:00.000+08:00

Time passes so fast...the recess is just the next week, which means that the exams are coming soon..sigh~
Yesterday was the first time that I have smiled since a long time~ playing with kids and see their childish and innocent behaviours do bring out the smiles in me. I was involve with a activitiy call project Inspirar. I had to wake up at 6 plus yesterday morning to go to Chun Su Lan Home and bring the kids to our school to play for that morning. Perhaps it was because I did not drink enough water or maybe I did not sleep enough the previous night~ I had a extremely painful headache. It was like taking a hammer and pounding onto my temples....but while see the kids play, the headache does not seems to be so painful. It was after that when I almost could not take the pain and do not feel like doing anything and had to go sleep.
I realise that some of the kids do not get along with each other. Sometimes they quarrel and than dun wish to play with each other. Than after some cooing~, they return back to normal again. It's sad to know that there are orphans out there.
After the morning with the kids, i was suppose to go out with a fren of mine to the UK fun fair. However, I was pang seh again. These this the second time this week my fren had done that. Haiz~ and I waited till the evening before I went home. Disappointing~ but I guess you can understand. Who would remember such things when you don't mean much to that person?
I have come across so many happenings in my life that have made me a weaker person. Issn't experience suppose to strengthen oneself?

Hope~ Too Much?

2005-02-19T06:26:00.000+08:00

Perhaps I was expecting too much from the begining. Perhaps there should never have been a beginning in the first place. But sometimes I cannot help myself. Myself~ I should get used to being by myself. Sometimes fate plays their hand by this way...Do you believe in fate?

~Hope~

2005-02-19T00:49:00.000+08:00

It always hurts the most when people have hope and than it gets totally destroyed. It hurts even more hope is given by the one u love, and destroyed by the same person. When that happens once...twice...thrice....would you still dare to hope? Or would you totally give up? "Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart...." How may people can do that? How many times a person can do that? I am at my ends wit...Love......sucks....

Bad Feeling~

2005-02-17T17:30:00.000+08:00

Things don't seems to went smoothly today. Computer had problems...forgetting to bring my calculator for physics test....failing my physic test despite my many efforts of studying....many many more....sigh~ Why is this happening to me? I have not done anything bad these days...why do I have such lousy luck...or perhaps its just me....

LOUSY NIGHT~

2005-02-17T09:15:00.000+08:00

My wife is my computer. My computer is my everything...at least till I find a gf that it. Last night~ My wife give me a big headache. The stupid room mate of mine suggested that I find an install a new driver for my graphics card, and I did. In the end, my computer crash and I have to reformat the whole computer. The worst was yet to come. As I was reinstalling the computer, I forgot to disconnect my computer from the internet and almost immediately, my wife got sick, infected by viruses. Than I have to reformat her a second time!! #$%^&* Viruses these days are so powerful. Sigh~ I am suppose to have my chem tut now, and yet I am in my room saving my wife. Later will be my physic test, and I did not had the mood last night to study becos of her. I wonder how will I fair for my quiz~ Whenever I thought of him suggesting to me to update my graphc driver, it made me so made...but I can't really blame him. I rely on him when it comes to computer hardware. He was suppose to know his stuff. The incident last night taught me that he does not know everything. I must rely more on my instincts. The worst is still not over. I forgot to save and backup all my precious photos and docs. Now, they are all gone....feel like killing myself last night~Nothing good ever happens to me these days....

A Big Surprise ~ How pathetic I was on V-Day

2005-02-15T20:38:00.000+08:00

Maybe it was fate that such an incident happened. The girl which my room mate was interested in came and talk to him during the lecture this morning~ By coincidence, I told a fren of mine who is sitting next to me about my room mate's feelings for her. My fren than told me an astonishing thing!! It was again my coincidence that his girlfren was the room mate of the girl my room mate was interested. Confusing? Hahaha~ Anyway, my fren's gf happen to tell him that her room mate ( which was the ger my room mate was interested in ) went with someone to Nanyang Lake on the night of Valentine Day!! That someone was MY ROOM MATE!! Wah!!! I realise some guys gossip as much as girls do. hahaha~ My room mate seem abit embarrass that his "affair" got known by other pple like me. Lolx~ Haiz~ Than I can't help thinking that only I am so pathetic. People all round me are going on dates and everything. Even my room mate manage to went out with the girl that he likes to NANYANG LAKE!!! AT NIGHT!! Imagine how dare it is during night time. You can do all sorts of things there without pple knowing...........wahahaa~ joking. Sigh~ Only me..alone in my room with me computer....haiz~

That night I talked alot with a particular someone....Everything was going well initially, until we suddenly talk about our past. Our past was a bit of complicated. I admit that I was in love with her......I gave in all my efforts, but in the end, nothing worth celebrating came out of it. I thought of trying to forget her. I know that when I fall deeply in love with someone and get rejected, it will be so hard for me to face her again~ I tried forgetting...but like they say, "It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone." She is someone which I cannot forget, and I realise I don't want to forget her. We did not talk for a long time after last semester. She got on with her life and I went on with mine. It took me alot of courage to talk to her again...I acted like as if nothing went one between us in the first place, but deep down, I knew that those feelings never change. I remember that I could always picked her out in the crowd in the MLT full of people. She seemed to always catch my eye. Old habits die hard... For some reason which I don't know, she believe that she is not a decent ger~ Maybe I have not seen the other side of her, or maybe there isin't such a side. She kept sayng how bad she is and so on. "Change it than" I told her, but I know she wouldn't change for me. But I do hope she can change whatever she thinks is bad about her. She now is in a relationship~ I don't ask for much, only that she gets ur happiness. True love is hard to come by. We, including her, should treasure it. I do still............

~Valentine Day~ 14 Feb

2005-02-14T21:21:00.000+08:00

Valentine Day~A special day for lovers and couples to celebrate~ but for people like me who is so behind in his studies and MOST importantly, SINGLE, I made the "Valentine Day" to be "Study Harder Day"~ hee....haiz~ I slept too late last night, so my mind is like a blur right now~ haha...surprising I was able to understand what the Maths lecturer is mumbling about. Sigh~ today see my fren and his gf so lovely, I so envious of him. He told be that he is his gf's first bf. I think they are quite a good match. I waiting for their wedding dinner a few years down the road liao. Wahaha~ have to give red packet again. Haiz~ Seeing all the couples walking here and there all around the campus makes my heart feels so anguish~ Actually night time going to study with Tingz, but than both of us are too tired liao cos last night. She even sleep later than me~ lolx. So I guess she is more tired than I am. Hmm...I wonder if she has any program tonight~ Idiot! What has she having anything to do tonight got to do with me~ study study study......must go study.....dun think so much.....

You Look at Me, I look at You

2005-02-13T16:22:00.000+08:00

I stare at the words...the words stared back...."wave function equals.....expectations of X is......". I throw my pyhsics notes aside. After a while, " limit of #$%^&()*@......alternating series....libniz's rule...." My maths notes also went flying....WAHH!!! I stared at the notes, they stared back. I seemed to be like coming up with a new theory of my own. I don't seem to understand the notes and many many other things....if only what if I can conprehen them like as if I am studying pri sch work. Than it would be a piece of cake...haiz~ Physics, Maths and Chemistry love me. I know they DO!! BUT I HATE THEM!!! Sianz~ I wonder how am I going to pass my exams this semester. Who can save me? Who will be my saviour? Me? Myself? I thought that was the case. But there is only so much things that I can do....If my room mate were to know what I was thinking, he would say "Come, pray to God and he will gain you the wisdom and intelligence". If it was true, than the world greatest inventors and scientist must have prayed to God 25 hours a day....

Poor ~Mei~

2005-02-12T12:33:00.000+08:00

Yesterday my godmei told me that she broke up with her current bf liao~ I asked her what happened and she said that her bf was lying to her all along. "what did he lie to you about?" - "He said that he was not smoking, but all along, he was smoking behind my back" - Haiz~ mei and her bf has been quarreling often lately. Mei has been in and out of relationships so many times...but this latest ex was with her for more than a year...and I feel sad for her that she broke up with her bf a few days before V-day. She always comes to be when she had problems with her bf...haiz~ I really hope that mei would find someone she truly love deeply and that guy also love her deeply. I guess relationships usually work when one side loves the other more. Mei's relationship problems reminded me of someone I know....I wonder if mei can truly give up on her bf. If trust between couples is betrayed, it hurts more than anything else....but is absolute trust really that easy?

2005-02-11T19:49:00.000+08:00

Chiobu In My Room~ wahaha!!!

2005-02-11T19:48:00.000+08:00

Baby ~Pose 2~

2005-02-11T19:47:00.000+08:00

My cousin's baby~ So CUTE!!! wahaha

~Chinese New Year~

2005-02-11T19:31:00.000+08:00

The most important festival of the year to the chinese, yet, as each year pass, my mood for CNY gets more and more bored. There don't seems to be anything excited about for coming CNY. I personally dun have the cravings for new clothes like the girls, nor and I so greedy for the ang bao (cos I guess I do not get much also every year...lolx) . The only thing special about this CNY is that I have a special guest who came to my home...and guess who is it? It's that Stupid Ger~ Haiz~ She quite poort thing also. He parents abandon her go genting on the eve of CNY until the 3rd day of CNY, so I invited her to my home for lunch. Wah~ All my relatives think that she is my girlfren~ lolx~ Tell them she is just my University fren liao they still siang wai~ grown ups seem to grow less and less smart as they grow older...I hope I don't be like them next time. I took quite alot of pictures this year because I finally got a digital camera~ wahaha~ The cutest pic that I took was the baby of my cousin~ oooh~ I love those small kids. So cute!! heee....anyway...other than that, my CNY sucks, cos I keep thinking of my sch work...haiz~ How? Next week got quiz liao...think this weekend dun need to go back home again...

"Help!! My contact lens broke!!'

2005-02-08T13:01:00.000+08:00

That stupid ger!! So ai mei!!! Wear contact lens. "Dun waste" she say, when the contact lens is already a year old. It became so soft that it broke into 2 pieces when she wore it. She managed to take the larger piece out, but the smaller one got stuck in her eye. She was suppose to meet me for studies this morning at 9. Late again!! Although this time was a valid reason, but she is never early for any meetings. Must find someway to teach her to be punctual. Muahaha..!! Anyway, I accompanied her to the doc~ She mentioned that this is the 1st time she went to see a doc with someone other than her mother~ Hehehe...Should I feel honoured? I think not~ She should feel honoured!! She keep worrying about not being able to get the broken piece out and started to think of ridiculus stories of how a ger's eye ball drop out when the contact got stuck in her eye~ Stupid ger is stupid ger~ Use these stories to scare herself. Lucky I go with her. I went in the see the doc with her and saw how the doc FLIP her eyelid and use the cotton bud to remove the broken piece of lens. Glad that nothing serious happen. Ting's eyes are already so huge~ if anything happen to her eye, i scared that they will really drop out~ heee...anyway, "all that ends wel, that ends well". Get her into a happier mood after a near "eyeball drop out" experience for CNY~ lolx

Farewell, My Good Frens~

2005-02-08T11:52:00.000+08:00

My army frens, Ah Nam, Marcus and Chirs will be going over to Australia to study~ Chris and Marcus had already been there, but Ah Nam is going there for the 1st time. If I remember correctly, he will be flying off on the 15th of Feb. I am going to the the guy how seems like a father to us...erm....i mean the looks~ wahaha...cos he looks so much older and mature than us when he in fact is actually the same age as us~ We always tease him on how old he looks.
We went to the Crstal Jade at Suntec to have our dinner~ Stupid Ah Bui learn his ah pu na na language until so late, by the time we reach there by Wei Yeh's car, they have almost finished eating~ After the dinner, they suggested to drink coffee at the Esplanade. However, when we reach there, all we did was "rape" Gerald and Ah Bui and took many pictures of them. They pulled Ah Bui's legs apart till as if he is doing a split. he scream so loud that the couples there all stared at us. After a while, the police came, but luckily we were on our way off. What surprised me the most was that there was a rather exotic statue at the Esplanade. It was a duck or a goose lying on top of a man as if they were having sex!! I din know that Singapore would allow such a sculpture to lie in the middle of a tourist attraction. Wahaha~ anyway, we had fun that night!!

Why Do guys Failed Their Jobs

2005-02-06T11:33:00.000+08:00

Late last night, or rather early this moring around 2am, i was online talking wif a fren of mine. She recently got dumped at the begining of the semester...Now, she has lost all faith in guys. She says "All guys are the same..." That somehow made me feel so mad...Why generalise all guys when a few of them are unfaithful to her? But come to think of it, there seems to be quite a lot of people that I know of who broke up since last december. It seems like it was a bad ending last year for many couples....but there is one of them that I know of got attached again. For the once who already have a steady partner, I wished that their relationship lasts and that the one they have chosen will bring them happiness. For those who are still single, don't worry. You are not like me, so you will definitely find someone whom you love and vice versa. I just feel that there are so many guys out there making the woman lose their faith in guys, making us all look like bad guys. I don't know why, but I have come across so many stories of my female frens getting hurt by the guys. I think its think for us to reflect upon this...

2005-02-04T18:56:00.000+08:00

MY DREAM CAR ~PAGANI zONDA~ rOADsTER

STRAIGHT AHEAD, 100M, FIRE!!

2005-02-04T18:37:00.000+08:00

Today is such a lousy dayto begin with~ Last night my block got thrashed in Warcraft during the competition~ The game ended so late that I can't wake up in the morning and had to missed 2 lectures!! But luckily they should have it online. I always thought that I am the kinda person who stays behind the scene and maintain a low profile so that other people wont notice me. However, I made a major mistake by posting the idea of asking my effective communicatino tutor to post the homework on Edventure. She read it and find is so amusing that I became a "shooting target" for her today. She keep saying "As Alwyn has suggested for the absent minded....". My name was mentioned 4-5 times during her whole tutorial and was even asked to answer questions~ Haiz!! Made a big mistake in my life. I wonder if she (my tutor) has a boyfren...because I wanted to tell her that "Miss Pang, a woman as intelligent as you will lbe so hard to find a boyfren. I feel so sorry for you."...but I guess that will be shooting myself in my foot. If I really say that, I don't think that I will be just a "shooting target" but also for all kinds of "experiment" during her classes.....have to be more careful in the future~

Chicken First or Egg 1st?

2005-02-03T19:56:00.000+08:00

Sigh~ I can't seem to be keeping up with my tutorials and lectures. The Professors seems to be talking in codes which I cannot decipher and the tutorial questions are like an alien language to me. HOW!! I guess that many pple are having the same problem as I...except for those pple with a brain with a processor faster than my computer, memory space larger than the pacific ocean and logic thinking better than any supercomputer in this world...aka Scholars!!! Haiz~ Must start to make a few scholar frens and beg them to teach me liao...
I was listening to the physic tutorial today and than something came across my mind~ Scientists seems to always do experiment and assume this and assume that. If the results they get are what they expect, than their assumptions are taken to be correct....However, certain things can be explain using two absolutely different theories than can contradict each other. For example, when they think that particle theory cannot explain fully for wave, than they think of quantum physics ( something that I catch no ball ) to explain it. What if there is something that quantum physics cannot explain for the same question? Would they come out another theory? Ending up having 4 or 5 theories explaining just one phenomenem? I see this pattern when people find excuses to their actions, coming up with more and more reasons to justify their doings...are humans all like that? Has our form of thinking not change scince the time Einstein got his head hit by an apple?...What a stupid question....Why the hell am I thinking about this. Guys my age should be thinking about how to get a girlfren, especially people like me who are single~ wahhaha...

2005-02-02T23:34:00.000+08:00

My Dream Gal~

2005-02-02T22:40:00.000+08:00

~The New Start~
This will be the start of my new diary~ I have made many copies before, all encode in Microsoft Word format. I know it is wierd for a guy to have a blog or keep a diary (laugh all you want), but I decided to give it a try anyway. Got to try out some new stuff sometimes right? So for those who think you do not know me well enough, here's something to let you know me better. 1st thing you will know me better after reading this is my interest. Let your imagination run and think what interest do I have from the following picture I have uploaded. Haha~!! Enjoy.